I initially agreed to visit China in order to relive my short days in Korea, because surely, if both countries were temperature and all, they can't be too different right? But China can never replace Korea. I sometimes wish I were Korean, or could really study the culture. It's just sad that I'm fascinated with a culture so far away and not so much with my own country's.

I really miss Korea:(
Baby,top. || 9:46 PM

has just been treated most condescendingly for her fringe. WTF?










Baby,top. || 8:50 PM

Deprivation-driven Desperation: oh what a mouthful of alliteration. The career website's PGI is SO LONG that I feel there is need for a blogbreak.

I hate the way the girls in school are swooning over Mr Naeff. Screaming, giggling, gossiping, stalking, seriously? I don't even understand how my friends were able to see him ten times in the first week he came when I only managed to meet him in the second week. I was hoping our school girls could somehow prove to an outsider that we're not boy-crazy airheads, but my hopes were cruelly dashed the first instant when he was introduced to the school and some started screaming. Maybe some of us are just nerds, but geez!

And I just realised the bad thing about growing up: You can't hide anymore. As a kid, I always did whatever I wanted, knowing that mummy and daddy will somehow be able to pick up the pieces after me. There was always somewhere to hide what you did and be protected from The Outside World. But when you grow up, you can't say you're ignorant and expect to be able to escape from your mistakes, and you're expected to be able to make up your mind and lead people who are depending on you, not just your friends, but others who are waiting for you to tell them what to do. Kinda feels like that in taekwondo, where for the first time, I'm really taken as an adult and I can't act as I want to anymore, but I have to live up to the expectations of my seniors and also take care of the kids. Now it feels like I'm trying to grow up as much as I can in a short while, without guidance, so I can lead these kids, cos my dad, who has always taught me what to do, decided he doesn't like that I take taekwondo. Today I shall return to taekwondo class for the first time in these 2 months, so GAHHHH. heavens, give me all the luck that the kids will start to listen to me and stop screaming and running around.

And O's seem so far away already. The stress, the fatigue, all seem like a lifetime away, maybe because I've really been partying all day, everyday, recently. I can't imagine how some can say they're already bored, when I feel like there's not enough time to play!
Baby,top. || 10:51 AM

Two dominant emotions: elation and relief.

These are what I felt during the graduation ceremony. None of the crying or nostalgia came to me. When Kris recalled those times we spent together, I only thought of how I could finally throw them out of the window. True, I will miss my friends, but hey, we're so very much in touch, so what's there to be sad about? Because I'm elated that I'm finally out of this school.

In the first place, I never wanted to be in this school. Granted, it was all my own fault that I didn't study hard enough to get into NYGH, but my experience here was one word, stifling. There was no space to do anything. It was hard in the first place to break through and implement new things, due to sluggish and unenthusiastic response and rules etcetc, and the ever present stress from exams. Then opportunities were given to a select few gifted with charisma and glib tongue and the straightforward person that I am just gives up doing this. It was just so hard to do anything! Then in the first 2.5 years I had some tough friendships that went nowhere until in sec 3 I decided I don't care and just smile at everyone without meaning it and this hypocrisy finally got me somewhere. See? I'm just so happy that such horrid years are over, so when Ms Kwa (GOH of today's grad) said her sec years were the happiest, I found it so hard to believe her. I'm just so relieved I can just fold those clothes up and forget about it all.

Finally!:)
Baby,top. || 9:04 PM

maplestory has become an impossible game. it's so wow you can't even get the frigging thing to open no matter what method they suggest.
Baby,top. || 4:12 PM

It's so surreal to see all the world leaders in Singapore! They're always seen on TV or in the papers and seem so much, I dunno... LARGEST than life. Brr.
Baby,top. || 10:04 PM

Many people keep saying that they want to live for themselves, etc etc. But why would anyone want to live for themselves? Living for others sounds so much more meaningful. When you live for yourself, you impact few. You do what you like as and when you want to and all the rewards go to you and your enjoyment, and when you die, you will remember life as a playground. But if you live for others, each time to do that, you help someone or a family and in the end, you would have impacted millions, because you directly impact thousands and this passes on and on, from person to person, until life is a web of love, care and helpfulness:) Then your life would have been that much more meaningful. That's what drives me to do what I do. I've been trying to get into all sorts of groups just so I might be able to give my time to someone else, GYCL, Marymount Centre, Lyrics, World Vision. I can't be sure, but I really hope whatever I do during these holidays will help:)

And geez, adults who think O's are a breeze should come try again. I am seriously convinced that their conditions were very much different from ours. The whole system was probably less clean and seamless and fast-paced and there were probably less competitors on the scene, giving comparatively less stress. We don't think lightly of all our jobs, so stop looking down on us because we're a third your age and don't think it was all that easy. Your jobs for one, don't have such drastic impacts on your health, thank you very much. And you haven't been working 19 hours a day, 7 days a week for the whole year. This whole year has just been one word, stress. I'm so stressed thinking about it I don't even wanna talk about it.

uh..tired:O
Baby,top. || 9:45 PM

joyce.

;you and your twisted words
your help just hurts
you are not what I thought you were
hello to high and dry